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“I am a man who is gay”
After the election of 1997, the issue of gay rights and same-sex marriage was beginning to be discussed openly and debated in the House of Commons. One of the most vocal Members of Parliament in the House against all things “gay” was MP Elsie Wayne from Saint John. I remember her speaking in the House, indicating her opposition to the gay lifestyle. She had very strong feelings about the issue and was very animated… both in private and public.
At the time, the Honourable Jean Charest was the leader of the Progressive Conservative Party. One winter weekend, Mr. Charest invited all the PC members to attend a PC caucus meeting in his own district in North Hatley, Quebec. The meeting was held in a classic Quebec country inn. I remember that the snow was falling in huge flakes and everything was very quiet. There was no wind. It was a perfect winter setting.
In the evening, we gathered in the meeting hall by a big fire and discussed a wide range of political issues.
When the subject of gay rights and same-sex marriage came up, Elsie Wayne did not hold back. She was very critical and adamant that the subject should be buried and just made to go away. She was determined that we should vote against same-sex marriage. Most of us were still trying to grasp the concept and understand the implications.
Until then, there had been no public debate about same sex marriage that I was aware of. Certainly, there was no debate in our caucus. So, most of us just listened intently to the ensuing heated conversation• trying to understand the issues. MP Scott Brison remained silent until everyone had spoken.
Finally, Scott Brison took the floor. It was almost 30 years ago, but I will never forget his words. It was the first time I had ever heard a person say them.
Scott said: “Colleagues, I am a man who is gay. But I am just like you. I have a family, and I love my family, just like you. I have friends, and I love my friends, just like you. I have a career, and I enjoy my career, just like you.”
He went on: “I am not a ‘gay man,’ I am a man who happens to be gay. I am not a ‘gay politician,’ I am a politician who happens to be gay.”
You could have heard a pin drop. Total silence. Nothing.
I had never heard anyone say those words before, and I think most of us were stunned to hear them. We had been serving with Scott Brison for years by then. We had all become close friends• and still are. The issue had never come up, and it certainly had not affected any aspect of our jobs or responsibilities as MPs.
With Scott’s announcement, our whole caucus began a change of attitude and became more involved in the discussion. For most of us, including me, it was a steep learning curve that began that evening. Most of us had never been a part of this conversation, but Scott's revelation and his openness made it easy for us to at least start to talk about the issue.
Fast-forward to 2025: same-sex marriage is no longer an issue in Canada. But at that time, it was a very profound change for Canadian society to adapt and support. But adapt and support we did. Canada is arguably one of the most progressive countries in the world in terms of its society.
In closing, I don’t want to leave the wrong impression of Elsie Wayne. Anyone who knew Elsie was impressed by her incredible work ethic and her determination to represent her constituents to the end. She did not hesitate to stand up for any person who needed help. She did not hesitate to speak her mind or vote her conscience. To say she had strong positions on issues is an understatement.
Many evenings, after the dust had settled and the House of Commons shut down for the day, she and I would go to dinner. I know that she found the job of MP very lonely and, like most women politicians, she was subject to painful and cruel criticism that men politicians do not receive. People criticized her clothes, her hair, or her makeup, and used words against her for which there are no equivalents for male politicians.
Elsie Wayne was an incredible woman, and I’m not sure if I ever knew any man or woman with a stronger will. She always spoke her mind and voted her conscience. But with considerable effort, she could soften. Elsie passed away in 2016 at the age of 84.
At the time, the Honourable Jean Charest was the leader of the Progressive Conservative Party. One winter weekend, Mr. Charest invited all the PC members to attend a PC caucus meeting in his own district in North Hatley, Quebec. The meeting was held in a classic Quebec country inn. I remember that the snow was falling in huge flakes and everything was very quiet. There was no wind. It was a perfect winter setting.
In the evening, we gathered in the meeting hall by a big fire and discussed a wide range of political issues.
When the subject of gay rights and same-sex marriage came up, Elsie Wayne did not hold back. She was very critical and adamant that the subject should be buried and just made to go away. She was determined that we should vote against same-sex marriage. Most of us were still trying to grasp the concept and understand the implications.
Until then, there had been no public debate about same sex marriage that I was aware of. Certainly, there was no debate in our caucus. So, most of us just listened intently to the ensuing heated conversation• trying to understand the issues. MP Scott Brison remained silent until everyone had spoken.
Finally, Scott Brison took the floor. It was almost 30 years ago, but I will never forget his words. It was the first time I had ever heard a person say them.
Scott said: “Colleagues, I am a man who is gay. But I am just like you. I have a family, and I love my family, just like you. I have friends, and I love my friends, just like you. I have a career, and I enjoy my career, just like you.”
He went on: “I am not a ‘gay man,’ I am a man who happens to be gay. I am not a ‘gay politician,’ I am a politician who happens to be gay.”
You could have heard a pin drop. Total silence. Nothing.
I had never heard anyone say those words before, and I think most of us were stunned to hear them. We had been serving with Scott Brison for years by then. We had all become close friends• and still are. The issue had never come up, and it certainly had not affected any aspect of our jobs or responsibilities as MPs.
With Scott’s announcement, our whole caucus began a change of attitude and became more involved in the discussion. For most of us, including me, it was a steep learning curve that began that evening. Most of us had never been a part of this conversation, but Scott's revelation and his openness made it easy for us to at least start to talk about the issue.
Fast-forward to 2025: same-sex marriage is no longer an issue in Canada. But at that time, it was a very profound change for Canadian society to adapt and support. But adapt and support we did. Canada is arguably one of the most progressive countries in the world in terms of its society.
In closing, I don’t want to leave the wrong impression of Elsie Wayne. Anyone who knew Elsie was impressed by her incredible work ethic and her determination to represent her constituents to the end. She did not hesitate to stand up for any person who needed help. She did not hesitate to speak her mind or vote her conscience. To say she had strong positions on issues is an understatement.
Many evenings, after the dust had settled and the House of Commons shut down for the day, she and I would go to dinner. I know that she found the job of MP very lonely and, like most women politicians, she was subject to painful and cruel criticism that men politicians do not receive. People criticized her clothes, her hair, or her makeup, and used words against her for which there are no equivalents for male politicians.
Elsie Wayne was an incredible woman, and I’m not sure if I ever knew any man or woman with a stronger will. She always spoke her mind and voted her conscience. But with considerable effort, she could soften. Elsie passed away in 2016 at the age of 84.